You are my world...I miss you!

17^th November 2009

It’s over, the trip back home, one about which I was so excited has come to an end, very much planned but still I feel upset. I have been staying away from home for more than 4 years now, and have got into this habit of leaving home for some unknown land. But I don’t know why as I move further away from my hometown I am getting into a state of remorse where explanation of career, ambition, passion or dreams does not suffice. I’m not feeling sad, neither do I feel like crying, but each time I open my eyes, feel a pain inside not seeing my parents around. I know I’m behaving childish, but am I grown enough to not miss them, is anyone grown enough not to miss them. They who have spent the best years of life taking care of all we wanted, all they wanted us to have, they who have stayed awake nights checking our body temperature even when an hour before it had returned to normal. They who have given the last bit of food available in the hardest of time themselves staying hungry. They who have spent teaching us Geography and Mathematics when their friends went around the globe discovering new horizons and spending money at a rate enough to challenge Shankuntala Devi’s numeric capabilities. I know many are of the belief that it is but their duty, their responsibility. I don’t deny but is it as easy done as said to sacrifice all you dreamt of before marrying, sacrifice your aspirations, your social life, your fun and frolic, your smiles, your tears, all for your children. As I figure out the efforts that have gone into making me what I am today, the pains behind my peace, I feel our parents have the right to be missed. They deserve a lot more than they expect from us. All they look forward to, as they think of future is our being by their side. They don’t want to be left behind alone in the cold winter nights. They dream of the moment when you will grow up and put a shawl around their shoulder and say, “Don’t worry I’m there with you”. I guess that means much more to them than a car, a house or the wealth of the world. I still suffer from the pain inside as the vibrations created by the train are outdone by the shudders running down my body, but the confusion gives way to a pleasing thought, Let this pain lead me to my responsibility, let me do what my parents want and much more. Friends I know we have dreams we have careers and lots to do before we leave the world, lots to achieve and too less time but don’t you think our parents have even lesser time and all good that can happen to them is through us. They found reasons to smile in our laughter, today they want to look at the world through our eyes. I hope we don’t fail them who succeeded in making us.

I !

The world said I can’t

I said I will

They laid thorns on my path

I could not fly

I bled my feet through it

The destiny decided

‘Let’s not give it to him’

I fought for my right

They showed me fire

I did not hide

I burnt myself through

The Lord gave his verdict

‘He is not born to Win’

I just said ‘Yes I Am’

He gave me a pain filled path to cross

I did not try finding reasons to smile

I cried as I fought all grief

The life smiled back and told me

‘You are here to be ruled, ruled by me’

I said

“I did not defeat the thorns and the fire

To be a part of the deadly mire

I did not answer the Almighty to just be a slave

I did not wipe off tears I did not act brave

To let you rule what I won against odds

To give away to you the reflection of my Gods

I am here to see not my victory

But to see to it that HIS decree

Of the truth, of the flame that burns within all

Shall always burn, burn high and tall

Till there is the last drop of life

In this world, of pain and of strife

For war shall I not but for peace I will still

Stand in between you, yes you and HIS will”